When we talk about racism and navigating polarizing topics, Fatimah Gilliam, Esq., is ready to meet you where you are. Her new book, Race Rules: What Your Black Friend Won’t Tell You, is a practical manual on how to connect across differences, build trust, strengthen relationships, restore civility, and be proactively antiracist in a country shaped by its troubling historical influence. However, Gilliam can’t do it all for you. Improving yourself takes work.
“Not everybody wants to take themselves on as a project,” Gilliam said. “When I think about some of these other [antiracism-focused] books out there, I think many of them are unapproachable. I’m trying to meet people where they are.”
Gilliam’s book lays out 31 rules—each “Race Rule” paired with a helpful illustration—to guide you. She sees these rules as evergreen and self-standing; one need not read the book from start to finish to get the message, and readers can use the chapters as a reference tool to navigate situations in real time as they arise.
The most important thing, Gilliam said, is that the book’s contents propel readers into action.
“I’m trying to drive people to think about their impact over their intent and move them beyond these ‘hearts and minds’ ideologies,” she said. “I think a lot of times people just want to focus on the educational piece, and then they don’t do anything about racism or change their behavior.”
Last summer, Gilliam served as the keynote speaker of Fordham’s Juneteenth Celebration, held in the McShane Center at the Rose Hill campus. The event was sponsored by the Office of Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging and the Office of Human Resources. Fordham GSS Ph.D. student La’Shay Crayton played a significant role in the day’s organization and execution. Black History Month is a perfect time to reconnect with this event, what Juneteenth represents, and understanding how the history of Blacks in America shapes our lives each day.
“So often the narratives around Juneteenth get mixed up, diverted, or deflected through other historical incidents or celebrations,” Crayton said. “It is so powerful to me as a Black person and as an American because we didn’t wait on permission for it to become a holiday—we already celebrated, and we already took the joy and the liberty to celebrate our culture, heritage, and identity. It’s so important for that to be recognized as a unique experience.”
A Day of Remembrance and Reflection
When President Joe Biden declared Juneteenth as a federal holiday in 2021, Gilliam had already celebrated the day for decades, using it as a time for reflection. Gilliam’s great-great-grandfather fought in the Civil War, and her great-great-uncle was unjustly executed by the US military in the aftermath of the Houston Riot of 1917 without due process. In 2023, the US government apologized for this injustice and posthumously overturned the convictions of 110 Black soldiers. This family history reminds her of all the wrongs the US has committed, and all the work that still needs to be done to rectify them.
“When I think of Juneteenth, I think about how my family was enslaved. I think about how the government engaged in what I call a state-sanctioned lynching of my great-great-uncle…and how we have a long way to go,” she said.
This passion caused Crayton and event co-organizer Kamille Dean, Esq., Senior Director of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in Fordham’s School of Law, to connect with Gilliam for Fordham’s event.
“What I find powerful about [Gilliam’s] work is [the way it portrays how]powerful the history of Black Americans is in this country, which is another celebration of Juneteenth,” Crayton said.
Gilliam said academic institutions like Fordham play a particularly important role in educating the public about the country’s history so that plans to rectify it can take shape. She explained that while everyone can be prejudiced, it takes collective power and historical context to escalate that prejudice into racism. This process has unfortunately entrenched itself into Americans’ everyday existence. Universities and colleges must utilize their influence to teach others about it and help work toward solutions.
“[Colleges and Universities] are preparing people for the world. They’re preparing them to be global citizens,” Gilliam said. “They’re preparing them to work in companies, run organizations, be neighbors, be community members, be elected officials. So what kind of people do they want to put out there?”
Education without Action Isn’t Enough
Race Rules’ publication comes after five years of work. Gilliam cut 18 rules throughout the process and strengthened the message on those she kept as race relations in America seemed to worsen. Political and racial polarization has gotten more severe, exacerbated by vitriol perpetuated by faceless trolls on social media. More recently, racial tensions have intensified with the increase in scaling back and targeting diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) policies, practices, and initiatives in government, Corporate America, and universities. Gilliam wanted to bring something actionable to the table that could help restore civility in everyday life.
“[Other books] might help explain the history of where we are as a society, how we got here, how racism shows up,” she said. “What’s lacking is the what to do.”
One of Gilliam’s race rules—the one she calls the Bedrock Race Rule—has three steps:
- Step 1: Learn to unlearn (engage in external education to guide decision-making)
- Step 2: Reflect to repair (conduct an internal evaluation)
- Step 3: Act to address (engage in positive action since if you’re not proactively antiracist, then you’re just swimming in the status quo)
If nothing else, Gilliam wants readers to embed this rule into their everyday being.
She continued that the important piece for white people looking to educate themselves is putting the effort in. Read Race Rules and other books. Research for yourself on the internet. Watch documentaries. Try to understand before asking your friends or colleagues of color to explain it to you. That effort makes a real difference.
“It’s white people’s job to dismantle racism,” Gilliam said. “People of color can’t dismantle things that oppress them and that they didn’t create. Ask for recommendations after putting in the effort; don’t just ask people of color to explain it to you since this burdens them with the labor for your responsibility.”
Gilliam said while the reflection step in the Bedrock Race Rule is crucial—and can be a lifelong process in itself—it’s important to not get lost in it. Step three emphasizes action, which is where real progress takes place. Self-reflection is great, but without action, you’re stuck in the mud. Things don’t change. That’s not helping anyone.
“Things are trial and error,” Gilliam said. “I want people to move to being a Racism Disruptor, not just focusing on allyship since merely thinking something is wrong or bad isn’t as impactful as action. Disruption requires action. Racism doesn’t go on vacation, and people of color are experiencing it every single day.”
A Continual Search for ‘Better’
Gilliam doesn’t think racism will ever be ‘fixed.’ While eradicating racism is a commendable goal, she thinks it is simply too prevalent to eliminate. However, that doesn’t mean society should throw its hands up in defeat. Improvement is the goal.
“We can get to a better place,” Gilliam said. “We have examples of society improving…the Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act [being two examples]. The problem is, those are from the 1960s. They need to be revised and reauthorized, and that’s not happening. Whatever is gained must be maintained. This is why it’s critically important to proactively push back against attacks on DEI and the legal framework of the civil rights movement so we don’t retreat but instead continue to improve and grow as people and as a country.”
When asked if she would write her 31 race rules into US law if she could, Gilliam, an attorney, said no.
“You can’t mandate behavior in that kind of way,” she said. “What I would want for my book, and the 31 rules, is to be incorporated in many aspects of society.”
Freshman orientation at colleges, onboarding training on job sites, and the American immigration process are three ways Gilliam sees her book incorporated into important US institutions.
“I think it’s irrelevant whether or not somebody knows how many stripes or stars are on the flag, or who the 16th President was,” she said. “Race Rules would be a better tool for people to understand when becoming new Americans.”
Gilliam offered some sage advice to Fordham’s Office of Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging: build relationships. Collaboration with key stakeholders will be vital in getting this important work done.
“Build coalitions,” Gilliam said. “If you want to do much of anything to advance diversity, equity, and inclusion, and tackle discrimination and racism within an institution, you need to have key stakeholders and supporters.”
